Just for Today

Do you know what a verbal hug is? Neither did I. I think I may have made it up. Today, I will wrap myself in verbal hugs. Learning how to love myself has not been easy. Probably, because I never found much of me to be very lovable. That opinion was confirmed by many in my past. I have held on to those negative comments, jabs, and thoughts for a lot of years. Today, I will begin the process of letting go.

I do not like looking in mirrors. They are not a comfort to me. I do not use them for much, never have, really. I relied on the general opinion of others to dictate if I was dressed alright, my hair was okay, my makeup was right, and yes, if I looked fat in this outfit. What I have learned is that it is no one's job but mine to determine my comfort level in any and all situations. It is totally within my power to determine what I wear, if I cut my hair, change the color, put on makeup, or wear my jeans too tight.

Today, I didn't get upset when someone didn't show up for an appointment. Instead, I offered them grace and rescheduled. It felt good to be kind. This morning, when I couldn't find the right shoes to wear, I didn't get upset, instead, I found a different pair that looked just fine with the outfit I was wearing. I smiled because I knew the old me would have felt miserable and lost.

Today, I prayed in gratitude for my growth in so many areas. My voice deserves to be heard, not in fear or panic or anger. I deserve to be heard because I care, and what I may add to a conversation has meaning and makes a difference. I know that now. I know no one has the power to steal my joy, my hope, my love, or my opinion. I matter.

So, today, I am going to wrap myself in hugs. Verbal hugs. I am worthy. I do matter. I am NOT crazy, nor insane, or mad, or a mental case. I AM LOVED.

And you are too!